Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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