You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
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I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We smell like vodka and hangover
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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