Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I want a musical about memes.
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