Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I looked at my own cervix.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
