I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
