We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
