...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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