Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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