Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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