No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
