I just threw up on my dentist
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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