$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
