your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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