ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
