Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
