Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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