At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD