I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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