dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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