Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
