Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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