Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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