On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
