I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
