So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
