i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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