worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Barsexuality is the new black.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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