He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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