if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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