bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
