Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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