I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
