Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize