I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
