Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
