I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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