It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
