idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
