I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
