i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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