The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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