wakey wakey hands off snakey
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize