Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Never let your siblings swipe right.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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