Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
