So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
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sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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