He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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