All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
