so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
