i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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