i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
