it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize