My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
two words...techno handjob
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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