I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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