Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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