Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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