I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
