sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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