Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
