nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
