Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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