my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
