In the future we'll all be gay
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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