Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
