My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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